Ah summertime, my favorite time of year. Except last year. Last year, I found myself with sudden side and chest pain, difficulty breathing, inability to fully stand or sit upright, and inability to recline back seated or lay down in any position.
Within 24 hours of these symptoms, I went to the doctor. He treated me like I was there to get pain medication. He didn’t believe I was in “real pain” until he had me try and lay down on the examination table. He sent me to get an X-ray of my ribcage in case I had fractured a rib.
After days of increasing pain, an X-ray, and phone calls to the doctor who saw me, my husband and I decided it was time to go to the ER. While there, a doctor from my primary care provider’s office returned my call. It had taken him more than 48 hours to read the X-ray report. He said it showed my scoliosis was the reason for all my pain.
But after a CAT scan, the ER doctor shared the diagnosis and cause, bilateral pulmonary emboli. I was scared and in shock. What did she just say? I’m not old, I didn’t just have a surgery, and I haven’t traveled. How could I have missed the signs? I should’ve known what to look for.
I was immediately administered blood thinners via IV and admitted for three days. Once discharged, my plan of care was three months of blood thinner and reassess. Six days after my 42nd birthday, I was able to stop the blood thinner per the hematologist.
I was given the all-clear, but told I was not to go back on birth control or any estrogen-based pills. It’s been almost eight months since the incident and I still have this feeling of waiting for a bomb to go off. I have anxiety about my body’s normal aches and pains. I’m relearning how to trust myself.
As a mental health counselor, I felt like a failure because I couldn’t get it together using the coping skills and techniques I use with patients. So in October, I started seeing an EMDR trauma therapist to help me process this experience. I’ve leaned more into trusting God and his plans for me. I’ve found comfort in Job 33:4 knowing the very breath of God is in me. So Psalm 150:6 says, “Let everything that has breath praise Him.” So I will, with every breath He’s given me to breathe.
Resources
Psychological Impact of Blood Clots
Birth Control
How is a PE Diagnosed?
